I have this friend...
She cyber stalks me. All the time. And if she sees me updating facebook, or twitter, or anything like that, and I'm not on AIM, she pesters me. Harasses me. Sends me messages and phones me and won't leave me alone, asking when I'll be on AIM to talk to her.
I don't like talking to her on AIM. She wants to roleplay, and I can't stand roleplaying with her anymore. I just can't. It's too difficult to deal with her characters, of of whom have major issues and are entirely dependent on mine. It's exhausting. But I can't tell her any of my problems, because she goes off on tirades for hours, either being passive aggressive or out and out accusatory.
She's doing it now.
Every time I tell her something personal about myself, I always regret it afterward. Because nine times out of ten, she makes it about her. We started our conversation out, talking about how I'm depressed right now. And now she's ranting and raving about how I'm never on AIM anymore, and she needs to know if it's her, or if it's just the fact that I don't like being online. She prides herself on being a wonderful friend, someone who's always helpful and does everything she can to save me. But I don't think she realizes how hurtful half of the shit that comes out of her mouth is. Whenever I try to talk to her about how she makes me feel, I always end up feeling worse. My hands and feet get ice cold and damp, and I almost always end up caving. It's astounding how often our conversations end with my saying 'fine. I'll ________'
She's not healthy for me to be around. She's toxic.
And yet, I haven't kicked her to the curb. Because I'm too fucking nice. I don't want to hurt her feelings, because she has no other friends. I don't want to be the one who ruins her life. There's a lot of pressure on me. So I'll stick with it. And I'll rant where she can't see it.
Here.
